Late to bed. Early to rise.

Why do I get up so early in the morning? I can't really answer that. I've always gotten up early throughout my whole life. I have never been able to sleep in and I don't really care to, either. All throughout school, in my youth, I was afraid of being late. Can't be late for school. Can't be late for work. Can't be late for anything. I also like to enjoy the entire day on my days off. Enjoyment filled with mindless Internet surfing, video game playing, and the occasional family visit.

I was thinking about this being late thing the other day. It is very very rare that I am late for something, and even when I am late it's only a few minutes. In my childhood I was a nervous wreck. I was scared I would be late for something important. I would always be scared that the car would run out of gas and we would be stranded. I was scared that I would upset someone. I was scared that I would get harassed and beat up in school. Anything you could think of made me nervous and I would literally almost piss myself, if I got in trouble, from being so nervous. Then, at one point, I stopped being nervous. I just...stopped. Maybe the military straightened me out, or maybe I just stopped. I don't know. But the adamance about not being late carried over into adulthood.

I'm finding it very relieving to put my thoughts into actual sentences. Either in a blog or talking to myself. I have found that I learn much more whilst talking to myself than I do with anything else. It's weird, I know. But it works. You should all start talking to yourself. In privacy, of course. Not out in public, you'd just look like a loony. Try it, I dare ya. You'd be surprised at what you learn.

Buzz